It is emotionally tough to be a mom that goes to work when I want to stay home.

I am happy that I have a job in a field that I enjoy. But many times when I am at work, working with other people’s children, I miss my own son ,and I want to be at home with him. For example, when I  am taking clients (kids) out to cultural events to help them with their social skills, I long for my son to with me so that I can experience the events with him, too.  I understand that I need a job to support my son, but I miss him terribly and in my heart I want to be a stay-at-home mom. But if I stay at home, I can’t pay my bills and Publisher’s Clearing House has yet to call my name.

I made him: I am responsible for him. And since I didn’t marry into wealth, I need to work to support him.  ” Mommy go to work, son,” is what I say before I leave and it always hurts as I watch tears roll down my son’s face but I am adamant about not getting on welfare to support the two of us.

Friends, family and even acquaintances have asked me why I don’t go on welfare since I do qualify. Here is the plain and simple answer: Society is not responsible for my son. I am responsible for him. I may need to take another job or have mac and cheese/ Top Ramen soup more often, but tax payers should not have to help me support my own child. I may need to blog my depression at times when I feel that I am sick and tired of not having propane all the time or gas in the car. But I made my bed and I need to figure out what to do so that I can make money and also be with my son. If there is a will, there is way. And by GODDESS, I will surely figure out how it is done.

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About lisaandshasta123

I work with kids who have behavioral problems. I have an adorable two-year-old son. I would love to stay at home with him full time, but mommy needs to work for food, shelter, clothing and material goods.
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